March 30, 2008 Barberton, OH

Mom you are preaching to the choir. I am just glad that finally he was busted with Chrissy for the lier that he is. Jen told Chris last night that he HATES me. oh well, I guess he does but one thing remains; that is my sister in every sense of the word. I love her and will not stand by and watch him or anyone else continue to hurt her and those kids the way he has. I just wish those kids were not hurting. I wish he cared. I wish he loved them that much. His lies were busted and now that Chris has finally talked to her, and Chris knows that some was crap, hopefully she can start to move on. She had every right to go to where she needed to go to get answers, because he was not giving her anything but more lies.

Any boy can be a father (biologically) but it takes a real man to be a "DADDY".

I have lost respect for him in so many levels. I can not blame Chris for loving him and wanting to believe that what she thought was going on was not real. But she has to know that she deserves better. My heart breaks for her and the kids. She took care of those kids, him and her dying grandfather while he was out spending money they did not have, drinking and sleeping around. No matter how you dress it up, he sinned against God and everything he claimed to believe in. He is an example to Mitch. That is scary.

He told Chrissy that he hates Allen and I because Mitch comes to us to talk to. He is jealous. I would not have to fill his shoes or be there if he was.


Dear Naomi,

You can send this on to the other woman (and women) for me if you like.

I have always learned: What a painful web we weave when at first we practice to deceive.

What has been wronged has been wronged, there is no changing it.

I know that when Chrissy married Donny it was after years of him begging her to. Once he got her married, the chase, the thrill was gone. He changed his life-style from smoking marijuana, motor-cycle riding, smoking even cigarettes and got a job to win Chrissy. Her father and grandparents gave him a roof over his head when he had no place to live. She worked and paid for him to get through pipe-fitters school. He got the job through his brother. He put the effort forward to win Chrissy, once they married, she worked part-time and kept them out of debt, even at his pipe-fitters salary. Donny was a spend thrift. He bought season tickets for football games, and out with his buddies, leaving Chrissy to shoulder the burden of the children and managing the home.
But through it all one thing remained clear. They loved each other. When Chrissy married, she married for life. Was she over Donny when she got the divorce? NO. But what was she to do? Donny and his "other women", his drinking and partying, his lying, all caught up with him. Through it all she was willing to forgive him and go to counseling and work through it. When Chrissy loves, she loves with her whole heart, not that the other women cared. If Donny chose to lie to his wife and throw his marriage away and spend money and time on them, well that's her problem. What did they care if Donny gave her aids or any other sexually transmitted disease, what did they care if she was trying to make ends meet and pay the bills on time, what did they care if there wasn't enough money at home to put food on the table for the family? And did they care at all about the covenant made between Donny, Chrissy and God before their entire families in church?! No. Not as long as they were self satisfied to ride on Donny's lying coat tails.
I have seen Chrissy cover for Donny when the kids couldn't get ahold of him when he had promised to call and didn't, or didn't show up for one of their functions. I have seen Chrissy and Mitchell hold Shayna as she cried and wondered where her Daddy was and why didn't he love them anymore.
I have seen Chrissy smash prized antique possessions of her grandmothers to show Donny they didn't mean anything to her when he threatened to break them himself to get her angry. What mattered to her was her husband and children.
No one has to judge anyone here. God will be that judge. His day of reckoning will come because none of us can escape it. We must answer to him and there is no lying before the Lord and Master.
Donny has been my son, since he was 19 years old and took my daughters heart. He promised me he would love her as I love her and look after her. What's one more promise to break? I championed for him to marry Chrissy believing he had changed and was maturing especially after the birth of their son Mitchell. Now I see that I was fooled too. I even told him this past Christmas that he was still my son. If Chrissy forgave him, I could too. He seemed sincere in wanting her back. He told me he made a mistake. That he loved Chrissy. I could understand that. God forgives us our mistakes as long as we are sincere and don't repeat them. Then New Years Eve came and there sat Shayna crying and upset, Daddy didn't call like he said to ring in the New Year with her or Mitchell. Calling him netted no result. How do you fill a void someone else has left, made especially more hollow by a promise that wasn't kept? How do you ease that kind of hurt and pain in a small child.? You don't want to believe this man could hurt his child this way. Chrissy doesn't need to use the children in any way against Donny, he manages to do it all by himself. I don't know this man anymore.
He was a leopard who tried to change his spots and found out he couldn't. The drugs, beer, smoking, the high life and fun, were more important to him. Does he love his children? Maybe so, at his convenience. Drugs are powerful, money is powerful, but it doesn't solve your problems.
Chrissy wants to have a positive relationship with Donny for the sake of their children. It's not fair that she has to come up with excuses for Donny.
If Donny loses the love and respect of his children it will be his own doing.
He started by lying and cheating on his childrens mother. It's usually a down hill slide from there if he doesn't practice self-control.
Proverbs 25:28 tells us, "A person without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken down walls."
and Titus 2:1 tells Christians."But as for you, promote the kind of living that reflects right teaching."
My understanding is we are to hold one another up before the Lord to build us up, not to tear us down. Anyone promoting another agenda is not fulfilling their Christian duties, but are making excuses whispered in their ear by Satan.
As regards to the other womans words about no one belonging to anyone else, we read in Scripture that God made the two,one, and no man was to tear them apart(or asunder). So we know her statement is a falsehood. The sacredness of matrimony is each person's laying down their free agency as a gift to the other with the promise to forsake ALL others no matter what, as a covenant between them and God and all witnesses. In this day and age their is no fear of God's retribution. However, God is the same today as yesterday as in the future. His WORD never changes.
These woman, at Donny's lies, have a part in tearing down their marriage. Trust and honesty have been destroyed, a very hard commodity to rebuild. As long as Donny continues to two-time all the women in his life, he will find it difficult to have a stable relationship of any kind. However, his male ego may be delighting in the fact that he's seems "hot" enough for all these woman to fuss over. Some like to call it mid-life crisis. Chrissy is not able to turn a blind eye to his goings on. As a responsible parent and teacher for the Lord Jesus in her childrens lives, she cannot let her ex-husbands corrupt lifestyle influence her children and harm their relationship with God. They can't not be left to think this behavior is commendable and it is her job to protect them from such abhorrence. Not an easy task by any means without the other side defending their decadent lifestyle. No matter what their problems, Chrissy never cheated on Donny and fully loved him.